1. You�re eavesdropping and you hear your boss has reservations at his favorite restaurant. You know, the one you can�t afford. Call them back and cancel his reservations � say you�re his wife.
44. On casual dress day, wear a bathing suit top and the shortest shorts that you own. When you are called into your boss�s office to discuss this, ask for a list that defines the parameters of the casual dress day code.18. Out of the blue, say you have an emergency appointment with your astrologer and it is important that you leave now because your charts are waiting!42. Position a cup of coffee on your manager�s desk so that when he sits down, you can pretend to fumble for papers on his desk and easily knock it onto his lap. State that you hope it isn�t hot and that no third degree burns are inflicted.13. When he comments that the coffee is too weak or too strong, ask, in a serious tone, if he is sure that his taste buds haven�t changed.31. When your boss invites you to the company Christmas party, matter-of-factly state that you�d prefer to spend it with rabid dogs and wild monkeys, but proclaim your sincere thanks just the same.The Zhip, which will retail for $24.95, will be available through Amazon.com and the eStore at www.thezhip.com the week after Christmas and through BestBuy.com in January. The developers of the Zhip also recently signed an exclusive deal with SYNNEX/New Age Electronics, the leading consumer electronics distributor, which will handle all North American distribution for the company – bringing the Zhip to mass retail outlets nationwide in early 2011.17. When your manager inquires as to what your favorite TV show is, reply that it is a child�s show like Sesame Street. Say it like you mean it.For more information about Quickparts, visit www.quickparts.com or call 770.901.3200. Also visit the Quickparts blog at blog.quickparts.com .29. Call in sick and leave a message on the company�s voice mail. State that you are ill due to the overwhelming imbalance of wealth and power within the company�s structure and your illness should subside once you are paid what you are worth.21. Call the fire department and pretend you are in the office next door to yours and exclaim there is a massive inferno in the building next to yours. It is guaranteed to raise your manager�s blood pressure a few points or more when the firemen arrive.Quickparts provides custom manufacturing services for engineers and designers who want to create plastic and metal parts from rapid prototyping to production, utilizing their 3D CAD files. Using patented QuickQuote technology, Quickparts is able to provide product designers with an 'instant online quote' for the manufacturing of their custom parts from prototype to production.5. Every time your boss asks you a question, just look at him and say �interesting� and go back to what you were working on.9. Enlist a friend to deliver papers appearing to be legal documents that insinuate he is being sued for 4 million dollars. Put word �joke� on the last page of the 20-page document. It will be fun to watch beads of sweat form on his brow.16. When your boss inquires about your weekend, say you went sky diving and to Italy. He will hopefully get your sarcasm and not ask again.PadPivot is compatible with most tablet devices like the iPad, Blackberry Playbook, and Samsung Galaxy Tab, along with book readers like the Kindle and Nook. More information is available at www.padpivot.com , including this informative promotional video .8. When your boss goes to the bathroom, turn his computer off. When he asks you if you know what happened, say that you don�t and it must have just crashed or something. Smile like the Cheshire cat.34. Find boss�s buttons and push them. If it is his weight, ask if he has gained weight or do those clothes just make him look fat?35. Announce at the next company birthday (cake eating in the lunchroom) that the boss is giving everyone a 10% raise. When your manager pulls you into his office to discuss this, say that he sure is losing his sense of humor in his old age.6. Take your eyeliner and smears it in his chair when he�s not looking. His wife will feel needed when she has to heartily scrub and wash his pants.11. Put your boss on all of the mailing lists of his most detested organizations and clubs. When he asks you to call and have them remove him from the lists, say of course, and never do it.15. When you arrive late, move all clocks back. When you want to leave early, move all clocks forward. Pretend that all the batteries need to be replaced.28. Using desktop publishing, relabel a can of bug spray as vanilla air freshener and place in men�s bathroom.Contact: Brian Ford Quickparts Director of Strategic Marketing 770.901.3200 Email Contact23. Run into the office exclaiming to your manager that his car has a huge dent in the side! Walk outside with him when he goes out to examine it. After he looks it over thoroughly and asks you what you saw because he can�t see it, apologize that it must have just been the way the light was reflecting on it that made it appear that way.39. As soon as your boss returns from a vacation, ask where he went and always state that you vacationed there a few years ago and how fantastic it was.10. Remove all toilet paper from the men�s bathroom and put it in the women�s. Shake your head in disapproval of the janitorial help in your office when your boss complains about it.24. Exclaim how sorry you are that your manager�s grandmother died over the weekend and that you read about it in the obituaries. Declare that it must have been somebody with the same name when he says he has no idea what you are talking about and begins frantically dialing his grandmother.26. When you are simply not in the mood to get out of your chair, proclaim that the copier is broken when your boss asks for copies to be made. If your manager attempts to make copies on his own and exclaims it works just fine, jam a paper clip in the innards of the copy machine when nobody is looking.48. When you manager asks you how your day is going, be honest. Say, well, if people that worked for this company weren�t so dysfunctional and psychotic, it might be a marginally average place of employment.49. When your boss says �good morning�, quickly reply, �Oh is it?�12. Replace the vodka in the liquor cabinet with water. You�re doing him a favor, really you are. When he comments that his vodka tastes like water, respond smartly by saying that it appears that just about everyone is cutting corners these days.About Quickparts30. When your boss asks for a donation to his son�s little league fund, ask what the minimum amount is that you can donate in order to keep your job.19. For your manager�s birthday, hire a palm reader to read your manager�s palm. Pay them an extra $50 to say �Oh My� in the middle of the reading and not be able to continue.2. Have a friend of yours make an anonymous call to your boss saying that they know what he has been up to, possess incriminating pictures, and hang up. It will scare the bejesus out of him.37. After next company announcement of a marriage or pregnancy, proclaim that you are getting married and having a child, but not necessarily in that order."Quickparts is very happy to have been involved in the development of the PadPivot," said Patrick Hunter, VP of Sales and Marketing for Quickparts. "The market for tablet devices and their accessories is exploding and evolving. The PadPivot is one of many new products we help launch every day, which is what makes our business exciting."Quickparts custom manufacturing services include: Rapid Prototyping (SLA, SLS, FDM, PolyJet), Machined Plastic Prototypes (MPP), Cast Urethane Parts, Injection Molding (Tooling and Parts), Sheet Metal Parts, CNC Machined Parts, and Metal Castings.40. Five minutes into the weekly company meeting, excuse yourself to go to the restroom and return twenty minutes later when it is wrapping up.The Zhip expands to fit any mobile device and features special retractable, "scratch-free" grip handles with protective padding that attach tightly around a mobile handheld to safeguard and secure even the most expensive device. The unit is compact (measuring 27/8" x 13/8" x 3/4", it can easily fit into a small pocket) and is constructed from 100 percent polycarbonate "bullet-proof" material. The Zhip also has an extendable arm and can be configured to be the perfect desktop stand for any mobile device.20. Grind up leaves from your backyard that look like pot, put into a baggie, and send it to your boss. Stand there while he opens it and gasp when the contents are revealed. Say �it is none of my business� and walk out of the room.For more information on this exciting new product and mobile accessory category, please visit www.thezhip.com. Media and bloggers interested in conducting an advance review of the Zhip can also request a complimentary editorial sample by emailing ZhipPress@BrandCompanyPR.com.27. When your boss asks you what you would like for secretaries� day, first of all, reply that you are not a secretary. Request that he answers the phone on that day as well as having all of your whims fulfilled that are of inconceivable proportions.22. Time your manager when he goes out to run personal errands and comment that he took an exceptionally long break when he returns.The Zhip (pronounced "zip") uses a sturdy, "no-drop," three-foot extendable zip cord to anchor any smartphone or iPod Touch to the back of a car seat to entertain the kids while on the road with movies, music videos, and games (a great "tool" for busy Moms); to the top of exercise equipment at home or at the gym to make workouts more enjoyable; to the back of an airplane seat to allow travelers to enjoy personalized entertainment selections on long flights; or to any desired fixed surface or work space.45. Circulate an anonymous memo that this coming Friday is fetish day so dress appropriately. Add that a $100 prize will be awarded to the freakiest costume.47. Take items out of your manager�s sack lunch. When he comments on this phenomenon, reply that society is degenerating at an unbelievable rate.33. During your yearly review, exclaim that you would just like to discuss your raise and not your manager�s suggestions or comments. Also, add that you do have a list of improvements for him that you�d like to share.
50. Once a week, send an anonymous email to your boss that is spiteful in nature. To kick it off, the first one should simply read, �you are pond scum.�
Author: Dawnell Harrison
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